4 Simple Ways to Grow Your Confidence
Quite often, there’s a uniform undercurrent in my work with my clients. As soon as I wrap up a conversation with one client, I hear that same theme pop up in another session.
The theme that’s coming up a lot for my coaching intensive clients right now is confidence.
What confidence really comes down to is taking action.
Now, it can be easy to confuse self-esteem with confidence. The two of these go together, yet they’re different, so let’s dig deeper here.
Self-esteem – Think of self-esteem as the set of beliefs you have about yourself. Self-esteem is a view of yourself that you’ve developed over time. It’s based on everything you’ve experienced and learned in your life so far. Your self-esteem is directly related to your sense of self-worth.
Confidence, on the other hand, is the sense of knowing that you can do something well. Confidence is the result of action taking, learning, hard work, and by practicing and refining your skills.
Sure, you can learn to do things without confidence. I did that for a while, so I can tell you that it’s exhausting, and it doesn’t work out very well, especially in the long run.
Perhaps the ultimate sense of confidence is in knowing that you can learn whatever you set out to learn. That valuable skill can breed success over and over again.
If you’re confident in your ability to learn, you’ll be ahead of the game. Confidence stems from taking action again and again. It’s a practice, and each time you practice your craft, you get better every single day.
The beauty of growing your confidence is that when you’re confident in one area, your unconscious mind works on the principle of least effort. This means that if you’re practicing confidence in one area of life, then that confidence is going to begin to naturally seep into other areas of life.
So, how do you get more of that confidence? Here are four ways:
1. Embrace your you-ness
Know that you are unique. Nobody can do exactly what you do in the way you do it. This leaves no room for comparing yourself to others — the comparison trap is real. Instead, focus on honing your craft and on being the best you that you can be. The world needs you. A powerful technique to embrace what makes you awesome is modeling. Modeling is noticing someone who’s doing something amazing, and doing it the same way they are. This isn’t copying, because there’s only one you, and you will make it different by bringing your energy, knowledge, and experience to your work.
2. Accept compliments.
If you’ve ever given someone a genuine compliment and they said, “oh, it’s nothing,” or, “that had nothing to do with me,” or “yeah, but I could have done so much better,” you know how frustrating it is as the complimenter. Accepting compliments with grace may feel difficult at first if this is new to you. I encourage you to drop the urge to divert the attention, downplay your achievements, or give someone else credit. Instead, genuinely thank those who recognize your contribution, accept a pat on the back, and use that momentum to keep moving forward. Try on this simple and powerful response to compliments, “thank you.” That’s it! Simply smile, shoulders back, and say, “thank you.”
3. Interrupt negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk is toxic. When you begin to notice yourself falling into a negative spiral, don’t beat yourself up. The negativity bias is simply part of being human. Our brain’s top priority is to protect us, so it naturally is looking out for dire situations. That’s why we have to work at positivity. It’s simple (not easy) — and it’s definitely worth it to begin rewriting negative thoughts and focus on reminding yourself of all of your good qualities.
Answer the questions, “why me?” and, “why not me?” and pay attention to all the goodness you have. It’s so easy for us to fall into imposter syndrome and focus on the things we consider as shortcomings. When you focus on your positive qualities and results, you’ll be training your brain to begin to focus on all the goodness. And it’s precisely that goodness that will allow you to feel a confidence boost.
4. Take action.
Confidence is directly related to the actions you take on the thing you want in the area where you want more confidence. It’s okay (smart even) to start small. Little action steps will build your confidence. The important thing is to start. You can focus on all the little things you do to begin to create neurology in your mind around confidence that’s going to support you in building on it.
Try making a list of things you do well, and then do more of them — whatever they are. Whether it’s making a great cup of coffee, making people laugh, or showing up on time.
All of this helps in building this confidence for yourself. Because at the end of the day, you’ve got to do something to feel that confidence. You’ve got to do something to build it and grow from there.
As you take the steps above, both your self-esteem and your confidence will increase. And confidence in one area will breed confidence in other areas of your life. Growth breeds growth. Confidence breeds confidence. Isn’t this amazing?
You’ve totally got this!
If you want to learn more about becoming that confident person you know you can be, pop over to The Mind Revolution Podcast and press play on episode #51: Confidence Building and Self Esteem.
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I'm Brenda Terry. I'm a personal development trainer and master coach who works with go-getters like you who want to achieve big results in your business and personal life.
If you're excited and ready to play bigger in business and kill it in life, I help you identify and change beliefs, patterns, and behaviors that aren't supporting your goals so you can make more money, find more joy, better manage relationships, and communicate more effectively.
I'm here to help you make the powerful, effective shifts you're craving- faster than you ever thought possible.