Episode 098

Doing THIS Will Make All the Difference


Episode 098

Doing THIS Will Make All the Difference

NLP is all about learning how to control your state intentionally. The tricky thing about negative emotions is that they’re more automatic and more powerful than positive ones, so we have to work more to get into and maintain positive states. 

Just like a puppy, the unconscious mind requires training. 

One of my clients had a breakthrough recently. She’d been “doing the work,” which involves focusing on what she wants, listening to hypnosis to stay relaxed, paying close attention to her current state, and intentionally making shifts when she wasn’t feeling so great. 

She had a couple of weeks where she was just on fire — lots of energy, positivity, and fresh ideas. She felt great, amazing!

Suddenly, she hit a slump. 

She was feeling overwhelmed (a negative state) and wasn’t making the time for hypnosis. And then she had an in-your-face manifestation of her state — and it wasn’t pretty. Thing was, she was convinced that it came out of nowhere.

But it didn’t. 

Here’s the thing. By the time you notice that you’re feeling “off,” you’ve actually been off for a while. 

And unless you can nip that negative state in the bud, your unconscious mind, because it loves to generalize and “cross-pollinate” from one sector of your life to the other, that negative state is only going to multiply. 

And that’s what she experienced.

The unconscious mind’s cross-contextual nature explains why we shouldn’t view our lives’ different compartments in a vacuum. 

Your relationships can and do impact your health. And your health can and does impact your business. And your business can and does impact your relationships. 

The good news is that when you gain ground in a seemingly isolated area, it will spill over into other areas as well. This is why when you work to improve your health, your business has a better chance to thrive, and when you intentionally focus on improving your relationships, your body can feel better and more energized.

And what does all of this have to do with managing your state? Because — repeat after me — if you can manage your state, you’re going to be able to manage your outcomes.

Here’s how to manage your state, even when you’re feeling short on time:

  • Be aware of your state. How do you feel in your body? Does it feel good? Stay on high alert so that you catch negative states in their early stages.
  • When you’re in a negative state, do some reverse engineering to determine where things took a negative turn. It will usually be something subtle.
  • Begin to reframe and focus on the next best thing that you could feel. For instance, if you’re in disappointment, shifting to joy might be too big a leap. The next best thing might be feeling a sense of ease or relief. Once you’re there, feeling at ease, investigate what would be the next-best thing you could feel. And go from there.


The golden nugget in all of this is to manage your state preemptively. Be in tune with yourself and be aware so that you can make those small yet significant shifts along the way. Slowly but surely, you’ll find yourself feeling better and better and better, and then your outcomes will also be better, and better.

Thanks for listening!

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I'm Brenda Terry. I'm a personal development trainer and master coach who works with go-getters like you who want to achieve big results in your business and personal life.

If you're excited and ready to play bigger in business and kill it in life, I help you identify and change beliefs, patterns, and behaviors that aren't supporting your goals so you can make more money, find more joy, better manage relationships, and communicate more effectively.
I'm here to help you make the powerful, effective shifts you're craving- faster than you ever thought possible.

Learn how we can work together here.


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