Keep up with everything Brenda has to offer!

Keep up with everything Brenda has to offer!

The Lies We Tell Ourselves and the Truths to Squash Them

For the last couple of episodes, we’ve talked about what beautiful things can transpire when the conscious, unconscious, and superconscious minds intersect. Most of the time, we’re not aware of the connection we have with the superconscious mind (what some call the “higher self” or the “soul”). Aware of it or not, the connection is always there. 

Your superconscious mind is tapped into all of the goodness and energy of the universe. Being led by the superconscious mind is where you’ll find your highest purpose and the most fulfillment.

You may find yourself feeling inspired, desiring to see change and move in the direction of your big dreams or a higher purpose….only to find that you feel stuck.

Feeling stuck often comes from lies we tell ourselves that leave us feeling deflated and disempowered. Today’s episode addresses a few of the lies we’re prone to believe.

  • Lie #1: “You can’t overcome your past mistakes.”

    This lie shows up in the form of guilt and regret. To get past this lie, recognize that we’re all doing the best we can with the resources we have. That includes you too. Reframe those past mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. Now that you know better, you do better.

    Combat the lie with this truth: You are not your past, and you can learn from the past to make better decisions now and in the future.


  • Lie #2: “You need to do it all right now.”

    Hurry! Time’s wasting. Realize those goals ASAP! …. Hold on. The real power is in the process of our journey, not the product of our goal. The achievement of the goal is just the cherry on top.

    Combat the lie with this truth:
    The process of achieving is more powerful than the achieving.


  • Lie #3: “It needs to be perfect.”

    Believing it needs to be perfect will keep you stuck in a mode of forever planning yet being afraid to execute on anything less than stellar. Repeat after me, “Good enough is okay.” It’s better to take action and get some momentum than to be stuck, striving to meet some unattainable ideal.

    Combat the lie with this truth:
    Progress is real, and perfection is an illusion.


  • Lie #4: “You’re not capable.”

    Oh, dear friend, you are fully capable! If you can conceive it, you already have everything you need to make it happen. Use modeling as a tool to get you started, but put your own spin on it. Make it yours.

    The truth:
    If it’s been done before and you’re willing to get the resources to do it, then you can do it too, and you can do it in your own unique way.


 If you’re feeling stuck, see if any of these lies are holding you back. Meet them head on, armed with the truth.



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Episode Transcript

Brenda:  Hey there. Welcome to Episode 61 of the Mind Revolution Podcast. I am your host, Brenda Terry. A big, warm thank you to you for tuning in. And my wish for you, as always, is that wherever you are and whatever it is that you find yourself doing right now, especially during this challenging and dark time for us, my wish for you is that you are finding moments of comfort and peace and connection and joy with those that you love, even if it means that they’re not in your physical presence right now, that you are still finding those ways to connect and feel that love coming into your life.

Things here in Reno have been interesting, the same as you probably in a lot of ways in terms of having to adjust and having to look at this life experience through a new lens. It’s almost as if normal has been redefined for us in a lot of ways, and yet we still have to go on. Right? There are still things that are out there that we have to go and do. And maybe we can’t do them right now in the way that we would typically do them, but they’re beckoning, and they’re calling to us. And there’s no better time for us to reflect on how it is that we can make change for ourselves, how it is that we can create the things that we want for ourselves, maybe in a new and improved way.

I think that so much of the way that we had been living and doing life before this crisis, so much of that was unconscious. We just did things that we did all the time, ran the same strategies consistently. You do a thing the way you do it, and you’ve always done it this way. And nothing really in the way to let you know that maybe there are other ways to do it. And I think that right now we’re in that space.

And please know that as you’re listening, I am really conscious of the fact that, for many of us, the experience carries with it a certain set of emotions, and for others of us, it will carry a different set of emotions. So there are some of us that can be more comfortable in this time, and we can be home and feel safe and know that we’re going to be okay on the other side and feel that security and that comfort inside in some way. And then there are some of us that really feel very uncertain during this time, and it’s very scary, and there’s a lot of fear.

What I want you to know, for me, in terms of sharing this information with you, is that I am conscious of both of those aspects of the experience and that there’s a bunch of stuff in the middle too. So we could all be a little uncertain and still have comfort, and we can be completely comfortable and still be uncertain.

So I understand that I’m speaking, right now, right here, to people who are anywhere on that spectrum. You could feel safe and secure or you could be in fear and uncertainty. Yet this message is still for you, for all of us in here.

What we’re going to talk about today is looking ahead a little bit and taking what we know right now, where we’re at right now, and knowing that maybe just in our thoughts and in our minds and in our hearts, we can begin to work with this energy. We can begin to work with the things that we’re going to talk about today, even if it’s just in our minds and our hearts, meaning not having to put something in action necessarily.

But maybe after you listen you’ll be compelled to do so, which is really the purpose here, because ultimately what I want for you is the same thing that I want for me, the same thing that I want for my clients, for the people that I love — all of us. It’s to keep focusing on those things that are really important to us, to keep making strides in that direction, to take the moment in time that we have right now, which is the only place where we have power, and to make the most of it right now.

In no way does that mean that we’re ignoring what’s going on. It means that we’re present to the experience and yet extracting the power within it for ourselves.

Because I know that if you’re listening here, there’s a very high likelihood that people depend on you, whether it’s your children or your partners in business or your employers or your employees, your friends, your pets. There is someone in your life that’s important to you that’s depending on your wellbeing, and it’s important to them that you are well.

And so I know that sometimes when we talk about doing self-work, there’s this belief around being selfish. Like, oh my gosh, if I’m focusing on myself right now, especially right now, then I can’t be there for the people who love me.

Well, my argument is that the most significant way that will empower you to be there for the people who love you is to focus on yourself first and then give to them from that space.

So today we’re going to talk about these lies that we tell ourselves all the time. And this is only part one, because when I started writing the list, it was really long, so unless I spent a minute per lie, then we were going to be here forever. And so we’re going to make this a little bit of a series for you.

Today we’re going to talk about action. The four lies that we tell ourselves that are really contributing to that stuckness that goes on inside all of the time… When we’re feeling stuck it’s because of these things right here. It’s one of these or some of these or all of these working together and contributing to the neurology that takes place — the stuff that happens in the brain that then reflects in our experience.

There is a flip side to each of these lies, and I’m going to dare call it the truth because as I see the truth, I’m speaking to you from the place that is you, that is whole already, the place that is you that is 100% congruent 100% of the time, and that is that higher-self part of yourself. And I know I’ve been talking about this lately a lot, but listen, this is where we’re at. And this is where we’re going, and it’s here for your benefit, because if you have taken this podcast, and let’s say you started on Episode 1 and you have worked your way to Episode 60, which, by the way, if you have, congratulations. Congratulations for sticking with it!

But if you’ve gone on that journey with us the entire time, then you’re ready for this information. You’re ready for it.

And if you haven’t, go back and check it out, and you’ll see how it is that we made it to this space in time in this episode right here right now.

Everything has been layered on top of each other. We started with a very simple foundation and then added more complexity as time went on. And so now we’re here. And I’ve got to tell you, this is where we’re going to be going for a while because so much is coming up as I’m doing the work for myself and as I’m doing the work for myself in the context of delivering value. So my intention is always to deliver value, so I hope that you get value from this episode and everything that you’ve listened to that we’ve delivered so far and moving forward.

The lie is the part of ourselves that tells us the thing that leads us to get stuck somewhere. And in that lie is going to come from conscious mind and unconscious mind. Conscious mind simply taking it in, looking at environment, creating some sort of conclusion as a result, then communicating that conclusion to the unconscious mind which can only do what is being instructed by the conscious mind and give us an essence of that experience outside and then create the neurology that will then give us an experience to match that neurology, and it doesn’t have to match it exactly. But typically there will be an experience that’s going to match the positive neurology or the negative neurology.

So when people are talking about scarcity and lack, then that scarcity and lack is not just going to show up in, let’s say, the topic or the subject of money. It can show up in health. It can show up in relationships. It can show up in the way that we feel about ourselves inside. It can show up in the way that we expect the things to unfold in life and in the world.

So it will basically just take the information from the conscious mind, generalize it, and apply it to everything, because your unconscious mind works on the principle of least effort. So it is trying to conserve energy. So it will take the stuff that’s repeated over and over again, create neurology to support the constant repetition to make it easier on your body. It doesn’t know that it’s helping you or not. It’s very neutral. It’s just going to give you what you keep repeating and focusing on.

Now, the truth lies in the part of you that is connected to all of the goodness, all of the energy, all of the wellbeing, all of the resources in the universe. So superconscious mind — here we go again — which is also known as your higher self or your soul. So the part of you that is connected to the ultimate source of all the things that exist that a lot of us call “God.” So, that God energy — whatever it means to you. That’s that part of you that’s connected to that.

And in this space… I have a client by the way, who calls this part “magic.” And I loved it when she said it. And if she’s listening, she knows who she is.

So this part of yourself is 100% congruent. It knows that you’re capable of so many things. It knows that you have all the tools and the resources available to you, and that your work is to simply connect. And not “connect” as in the connection is not present, but make the conscious connection with the help of your conscious mind and unconscious mind in order for you to then retrieve the information, tap into the resources, get all that energy — all that knowledge, all that wisdom — and then get to work.

So our work, really, number one, is to connect to that and make it in a very conscious way. So conscious mind being able to connect to the awareness that this exists and having an understanding consciously that it is available to you and available to each of us.

When I say “truth,” I mean truth from the point of view of the part of you that is 100% whole, that is not dealing with negative emotions or limiting beliefs, that doesn’t have to pay the bills, that doesn’t have to homeschool the kids right now, that doesn’t have to figure out how to get more clients on the roster because nobody is doing anything lately. So not the part of you that’s here doing life this minute but the other part of you that’s connected to that that’s bringing all the resources forth and making them available to the unconscious mind, but the unconscious mind is holding them for you until the conscious mind gets on board and says, “Okay, let’s tap into that.” So that’s where I’m talking from.

So the very first lie — a big one, by the way — and just want to let you know that I have helped clients release this specific lie, a.k.a. belief or decision, consistently. Meaning, this is what I do regularly with people because we can release it once, and then all of a sudden, something happens, and they’re reminded of the stuff that happened in the past, and then there we go again. We release it one more time. Usually this is as we get deeper and deeper into breakthrough work. So not necessarily the first leg of the breakthrough but the second part of the breakthrough.

So the very first lie is this — that you can’t overcome your past mistakes, that we can’t overcome them. We keep living life looking at the things that we did in the past and bringing that with us in the present and then creating more of it and then taking that with us moving forward in the future.

That’s a lie.

I have learned so much in terms of doing this work. And in this right here is one of the most disempowering beliefs that we can have about ourselves because we are constantly judging ourselves when we’re there. We’re constantly cutting ourselves off from our own potential when we’re there because we keep thinking back to the things that we did in the past and thinking that, because we did those things, that means that in this moment right here right now, we’re not going to be able to do the thing that we want to do because we did that thing back then 20 years ago.

And I know about it because, listen, I’ve had to release the belief myself, more than once. And it’s simply not true.

This is all about perspective. Usually when people are feeling the weight of this type of lie, this type of limiting belief, in that moment, they’re looking at the past from a lens that says “mistakes,” and what I’m here to encourage you to do is to look at that past from the perspective of experience and learning and growth. Meaning that we know, in NLP, one of the principles in NLP is that people will always do the best they can with the resources they have available, and they’re going do this for themselves. In other words, they’re not going to do it for other people. We’re always watching out for ourselves first. We’re just wired that way.

But we’re going to do the best that we can based on what we know.

And by the way, based on the complexity of our thinking at the time.

So if you are a teenager, chances are that the complexity of your thinking is going to evolve as you become a young adult. And when you are a young adult, the complexity of thinking there is going to be very different than the complexity of thinking that’s going to be in place, for example, when you go into the professional world and have a job and you have more responsibility. And then that’s even going to change even more if you ever decide to have children.

For me, I tell my kids all time, “Hey, thanks for being born because you really whipped me into shape. I appreciate you for that.”

So the problem with believing that we cannot overcome past mistakes is that you’re simply reinforcing the neurology that’s present there. Neurology is just what’s happening in the brain. That’s all. What’s happening in the brain and how it’s manifested in the body and how all of that together leads to your beliefs, and they lead to the internal representation, meaning how do I represent this inside myself? And all of that leads to feeling a certain way about things and then, all of a sudden, behaving in the way that you’re feeling about the thing that you are representing in your mind.

There is a really simple way, which I’m not saying it’s easy, but it is pretty darn simple. And that is to reframe yourself as to your past experience and give yourself the credit that you did the best that you could and really, really do that. You’ve done the best you could so far. And as you have learned to do better, you have done better.

And make the commitment to simply do better as you move on.

Because making that commitment, if you can just commit to yourself that you’re going to do better the moment that you know better, you’re going to change your life dramatically and very quickly.

So the lie is, “I can’t overcome my past mistakes.”

And the truth is that you are not your past and that you have everything within you to learn from the past to make better decisions now. And when you can make better decisions now, the power of that… Everything here is so much bigger than the words and so much bigger than the little technique or the little tip. The power of knowing that you can learn from the past to make better decisions now, that is true, that allows you to then circumvent that old junky neurology that no longer serves you with neurology that is empowering, a belief that serves you now and moving forward.

So if you can remind yourself… Whenever you’re reminded of something that happened in the past and you’re like “Oh, that was so bad…” Listen, I have made mistakes — my gosh, of course, I have. A lot of them. Talk to my family. They’ll tell you all about them.

And I’ve had to overcome a lot because I was not a resourceful human being. So regret was one of my big things for many, many, many years. And what regret leads to is us being really hard on ourselves.

So I had to find a way to really forgive myself and let it go and know that because of everything that I went through, the best that I could have done was to learn from it and now take that knowledge, everything that happened as a result, developed a super strong sense of integrity inside to where now I understand perception is projection to this level that’s super high. So I understand that I am going to reflect out into my environment however it is that I’m feeling inside. And integrity is one of those key values for me.

And I’ve got to tell you that it wasn’t always, and I was not aware of that. I was not aware of why I made the decisions that I made in the past that were so disempowering, because I made a lot of them. It wasn’t until I started doing the work for myself and really working with solid coaches and mentors to be able to learn that, hey, sure, it happened, but how long do you need to be reactivating that same old pattern? How about we create a new one that works for you instead and then activate that.

So it takes effort, but just simply looking at the past and saying, “I’m learning. I learned. Today I’m better than yesterday. Tomorrow I’ll be better than today because I would have learned more.” Really simple.

Now the second lie is that you need to do it all right now. I work with clients. Listen, my clients are my projection. So do I want to do this? Of course, I do.

Whenever I create something in my mind… So if you think of the way your conscious mind, unconscious mind, and your higher-self working together, the higher-self has the perfect blueprint in there ready for you to use. That blueprint, when it’s there and present and available, that’s the desire and the thing that you can see in your mind’s eye, and you see it completed, and you just want it so badly that, for me, when I go there, my mouth literally waters because the thing that I have in my mind and in my heart, I just want to put it out there now.

And the people who are on my team know that this is exactly where I’m at.

When do you want to do it?

I don’t know? A month ago.

Right? That’s just how it is. That’s just how I personally operate.

That’s the information that’s in the higher-self letting you know, hey, by the way, you have this available. You want to use it? You ready? Let’s do it.

And that only happens as a result of your desire, because the conscious mind is where you set the goal. The conscious mind is what gives you the idea. It’s where creativity is at in terms of “that looks really interesting. I wonder how I can do it.” That’s conscious mind.

Over time, we haven’t really developed the discipline yet to really connect with the parts of ourselves that are not seen, the things that are out of our awareness beyond the senses, which is that connection inside, which is conscious mind and that higher-self part of ourselves.

So we don’t have the awareness of that connection consistently. We may get glimpses, but we don’t really have the awareness consistently.

What happens is that you get the impulse, and sometimes we just go and take action, and we want to do it all now because we have the idea, we want it, and therefore we just want to manifest it instantly.

Well, from the point of view of NLP, we say that the process of achieving the thing that we want to achieve, that process is significantly more powerful than the achieving of the thing itself.

The achieving of the goal, the achieving of what we want to create, the achieving of it, so the endpoint, that’s just simply an indicator of the process that you’ve gone through and all the learning that you’ve had to do, all the evolution, all the growth.

So the achieving of the goal is essentially that cheery on top.

I know that we want to go for the goal, and we want to go and get the goal, and that’s a really important part of this process.

However, wanting to do it all now, it’s one of those things that’s going to keep us really overwhelmed, and you can talk to me all about it because I am so good at coming up with ideas that I want to implement right now. And what that means is that a lot of the times, my timelines are shortened, which means that me and my team are all kind of doing a lot of work really, really intense for a while.

And sometimes on the other side, it’s not exactly aligned with the intention. So I want you to really just notice this as you’re doing your own stuff.

If you want to start your own business, which I’m talking to so many people right now who are now ready to launch their businesses and really go in there and wanting to do all the things. It’s really important for you to know that in all the things there are going to be steps, and we have a process — and I believe the episode is the Narrow Road to Achieving Excellence. I believe that that’s the episode. And then there’s also one on Achieving Your Big Goals.

In there, there is a process of how to set a goal, how to identify the very first step and the very last step before achieving the goal, and then how to create milestones in between. And you taking action that is really deliberate, that is really consistent — and consistency being the key, because when we feel like we want to do it all, it’s like shooting ourselves in the foot. We shoot ourselves in the foot, and we sometimes can’t even get started because we want to do so much so quickly, as opposed to taking it in in bite-sized pieces where we can really benefit from that learning and really learn and know that in the process of that, it’s not just that you’re going to learn to do something. It’s not that you’re going to learn to do the thing that you want to achieve, it’s that in there, you’re going to acquire life skills like discipline, like self-control, like understanding the value of consistency, understanding that progress is more important than achieving it all right now, that in the process of achieving it, you’re actually creating all the supporting neurology that’s going to allow you to then really benefits from it on the other side.

So “need to do it all right now” — that’s just conscious mind saying, “Hey, we have the idea. Let’s blink our eyes, and it’s happening.” No. Not going to work for you.

The truth is that the process of achieving is more powerful than the achieving of the goal. The process is where the gold is for you. The process is where you get to savor the riches. That’s where it’s at. It’s all the learning. It’s all the things that you’re going to acquire on the way, the resources, the people that you’re going to meet, the opportunities that are going to present themselves in your life, the ways that you’re going to want to grow and shift and maybe pivot, the way that you’re going to identify how you deliver value in the achieving of this process.

It just takes you to a whole other higher level.

Now the third lie, it’s a good one. It’s this thing that we tell ourselves that whatever we do needs to be perfect.

Now, that’s a lie. “It needs to be perfect” is a lie. Perfectionism leads to stuckness, and a lot of the times, when we have that desire to be just perfect, it means that we never even get started. Or we just stay in planning mode forever and ever and ever.

I talk to clients all the time — and especially now. I guess so many people are pivoting the way that they’re doing their work, and especially if you’re in business, the way that people are going to be delivering their goods and their services, kind of that stuff.

And so I was working with clients last week about the whole planning process and how are they going to implement things that they’re going to be changing. And the constant conversation is, okay, so we’ve been planning now. What are you going to do right now to make this happen? What are we going to do right this minute, knowing that we’re not going to go for perfect because the truth is… The truth is here that progress is real. Perfection is an illusion. It doesn’t exist. There’s no such thing as perfection here in the physical world. We’re always going to try to make it better. We’re always going to want to…

Think of the unconscious mind. The negativity bias is in place to let you know how you could have made it better. That’s how it is. The things that are bad about it. That’s how it works. It’s identifying the away-froms in the things that we’re seeing. That’s the negativity bias. So you’re always going to see something and be like, man, it could be a little bit better.

I can’t imagine the… When I think of our free resources, there was one in there that I took down, and I remember emailing my copywriter and said, “Rest in peace,” this one resource. It was the very first one we put together. It took me the longest to put it there, and I still think it’s really good, but, oh my gosh, have I grown and evolved since. And now the work reflects that growth and evolution.

So getting yourself to know that good enough is okay. Good enough is okay. Like right now, it’s good enough to put out there. Right now there’s enough value in here for me to make it happen.

And this doesn’t just apply to your business. This applies to our bodies. This applies to our relationships. It applies to everything in our lives.

I can tell you for me, I get so engulfed in my work sometimes that the one thing that I resist so much is consistent exercise. From a belief standpoint, exercise right now is not a top priority. And even from a values standpoint, so I do it, but I’m really seriously having to focus on doing it, because I committed to do it. I don’t have fun doing it very much.

I mean, I have fun while I’m doing it. I don’t just have fun on the other side.

And sometimes I get caught up in… Like I don’t have those big muscular beautiful arms that a lot of women have. I really don’t. I have really scrawny arms for whatever reason, and so I don’t have them. They’re like limp noodles. And I have to give myself the grace that I’m not going to have the little very distinguished muscle tones on my arms. That’s not going to happen for me for a while, and yet making the progress there is really important because that means that at some point I will.

The same thing for you. In the process of doing it, not only will you have the result that you want, but you’re going to learn so many things in the process. I mean, it’s very much tied to that second lie that we tell ourselves of having to do it all right now and having to do something perfect, knowing that it doesn’t make sense. It’s the number one sabotage thing in our lives, I believe, is that need for perfection and what we think perfection is.

So know that it doesn’t exist. The most important thing that you can do is what you can do right this minute, right now, to take action, to help you get started, that if you are having your business and maybe you’re starting your business or you’re thinking of having a business, or you’re creating something of value for somebody, whatever it is that you do with your work, however it is that you’re working in your relationship with your body, with your family, all of that, that you do your best and that you take action now. And you just deliver the best that you can do right now.

And as you do, then you go back and improve.

So for me, it means lifting like my five-pound weights, and then sometimes I get to eight or ten pounds for about five seconds, but I know that I’m doing more today than I did yesterday, and that’s really what this is about.

Progress is real. Perfection is an illusion.

But progress is real. That means that what you do today is going to have benefits for you tomorrow.

That’s powerful.

A lot of the times we want everything right now, thinking that right now is the time to have it. I talk to clients all time, and they’re like “But I still feel this way or that way.” It’s like, “Well, we haven’t the work yet.”

So I talk to clients all the time, and especially at the beginning of breakthroughs, the conversations are very consistent and similar. And they usually run along the lines of this negative thing that was in my life for 30 years is still happening. I know we’ve been working together for over a week, but oh my goodness, it’s not gone yet.

The reframe there is that progress takes time, and you’re worth it. So let’s keep doing it. We’re going to rewrite the 30 or 40 years of neurology here. Just give us a few months.

And it’s that need for instant gratification that keeps us stuck in so many ways.

Think of instant gratification one way or another, meaning right now I’m going to do this thing because it’s going to feel good. So I’m going to eat today and exercise tomorrow. And then tomorrow comes, and be like “Oh, I’ll exercise tomorrow. I’ll eat today, exercise tomorrow.”

Or I don’t have all the pieces together. I’m going to put all the pieces. I’m going to prepare, prepare, prepare, and when I’m all prepared, then I will start.

Well, if you’re just in preparation mode, then your brain is in preparation mode. It doesn’t get out of there until you actually do something to get out.

I know it so well. I’m so familiar with that because I used to get stuck there, which is one of the things that led me to just simply put it out there now.

Like when I started this podcast, I gave myself 90 days. I had no idea what to do, and we did it. And it really started with me making the decision. So make the decision. Set a goal for yourself, add a timeline to that, follow the process to set a goal that’s going to be really measurable and something that you can see the progress of as you’re moving forward, and then start taking action right now, knowing that the progress is what’s going to get you there.

The last lie is this big one. This is this belief that you’re not capable.

I love being able to do this work because I work with people all the time, and it’s just talking to people in random places at a networking event or meeting someone for coffee or a glass of wine and having a conversation about where they’re at and where they want to be. And the biggest lie of all, I think, for us — and maybe I said this on the previous three, but I feel like this is a really big one in a very fundamental way.

Not being capable — meaning we’re looking at somebody else in the world, we’re seeing what they’re doing, and we’re seeing maybe how they got there, but maybe we don’t see that. But we just see where they’re at. And we look at how far we are from that thing that we’re holding so dearly in terms of an achievement.

And we look at that, and we judge ourselves based on that, and we judge our capability based on that. So we’re essentially comparing ourselves to somebody else and their progress, not knowing the backstory, not knowing what they had to do to get to where they want to be.

I just talked to a client yesterday, and she is just adorable. I love her. And she was talking about how she met a role model for her, and this is exactly what she’s visualizing for herself and her expression of herself and her growth. So she got the opportunity to meet them. It was a group of women. And they told her the same thing that we talk about every day. Keep doing it. It just takes practice, consistent. You just keep moving forward. Keep pushing ahead. Just keep doing it, and that’s what’s going to get you there.

“Not capable” is just simply us falling into comparison patterns, because “not capable” compared to what would be the question. Compared to whom? And then how specifically?

And then really identifying how did they get there.

I talked to a strategist a long time ago, and when I told her the vision that I wanted for my business, I said, “Well, I want to model what this person is doing, but I want to do it my way.”

And she said, “Well, if you want to model what they’re doing, we need to start where they started, which was like 15 years ago.”

And I said, “Okay, so what was the strategy 15 years ago?” So not the strategy that I wanted for my business.

So we modified it, and so now I’m doing it my way and getting there but understanding that in all of it, that person that I wanted to model started in such a humble way, in a very humble way, having no audience, having nobody around her to be her tribe, and now she’s got this massive, global impact of a tribe.

So me looking at that and saying “I can never be that person,” the same thing that I felt with Tony Robbins and Oprah Winfrey — I think that was Episode 3 — and then saying I can’t do it like them. Well, that’s fine. No, you can’t do it like other people, but you can do it like you.

The truth is that, number one, you were meant to evolve and grow. And when you have the willingness to do that, then you’re capable of so much. If you have the willingness to do the work to grow and evolve, then you’re going to have a lot of resources at your disposal that are only going to compound as you keep on that journey of moving forward and making forward progress.


Because the truth is that if it’s been done before and you’re willing to get the resources to do it, meaning you’re going to go learn what needs to be learned, you’re going to practice whatever needs to be practiced, and you’re going to implement strategies that are going to get you there, then you can do it too.

And, by the way, you can do it in a way that is uniquely you. That’s the powerful thing.

I tell my clients all the time, “Copy this thing I did. Go look at that other thing that I did and go copy that, and just make it your own. And here’s this resource. This is what I did, so come and learn from the experience and all the things that I’ve had to go through in order to get this information and me being able to condense it. And here you go. You go make it your own.”

Because I know that every one of us is so unique, and there’s nothing that the two of us can do in exactly the same way. And your capacity to be able to grow and evolve and achieve the things that you want to achieve is within. That is the truth. That is the truth from the part of yourself that’s 100% congruent that knows that you can do it all, that you have everything inside to be able to do it, that if it’s been done before, then you can definitely do it, and if it hasn’t been done before, you can still probably do it. It’s just going to be a matter of what is the level of conviction that you’re going to adopt in order to get the work done. So this is all about taking action.

I know that I’m sharing this with you at a time where we’re all being challenged. But you know what? Let’s get on it just a little at a time.

Take the information here, pick something, and do something with it. Just one thing. One lie that you get to reframe and really focus on the truth of it all, which is the opposite end of that spectrum. So if it’s a stick, the lie is in one end, the truth is way on the other. So you just simply shift your focus to where the truth is on that opposite end of that stick.

So you know that number one, you’re not your past and that you can learn from the past to make better decisions now.

The second truth is that the process of achieving is way more powerful than the achieving of the thing you want to achieve. That process is where the goldmine is.

The third truth is that progress is real, and perfection is an illusion.

The fourth truth is that you are indeed capable and that if it’s been done before and you’re willing to get the resources to do it, then you can do it too, and you can do it in your own unique way.

That is all I have for you today. Super long one. I hope that you get some nuggets in here that are going to help you now and in the future. And know that you are fabulous. You’re hanging in there. You’re growing. You’re evolving. I know that right now it’s really hard to see, maybe, that progress. It could be that you’re not seeing it in yourself all the way through yet. But I promise that on the other side of this you’re going to look back and be like, oh, my gosh. I’ve grown so much.

And you’re going to be better for it.

So hang in there. Listen to every single episode in the podcast that calls to you because there are nuggets in there too. Trust your unconscious mind to guide you there because it knows what you need right now.

I will be holding you close and thinking of you and sending my very best wishes and all my best to you until next time.

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I'm Brenda Terry. I'm a personal development trainer and master coach who works with go-getters like you who want to achieve big results in your business and personal life.

If you're excited and ready to play bigger in business and kill it in life, I help you identify and change beliefs, patterns, and behaviors that aren't supporting your goals so you can make more money, find more joy, better manage relationships, and communicate more effectively.
I'm here to help you make the powerful, effective shifts you're craving- faster than you ever thought possible.

Learn how we can work together here.


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