#129 A Simple Process for BIG Appreciation and Gratitude
#129 A Simple Process for BIG Appreciation and Gratitude
Brenda: Well, hey there. Brenda here. Welcome to this week’s episode of Mind Revolution. I am so glad you’re here. Super grateful that you are tuning in, pressing play, and hearing the words, and especially today.
Depending on when you’re listening, I just want you to know that I’m recording this exactly a week before Thanksgiving here in the US. Right around this time, I go into that very… My family calls it sappy — not all my family. My mom doesn’t, but the kids do — where I get all mushy inside, and I’m just in deep appreciation and love. And I’m walking around in this big ball of gratitude wherever I go. I’m just feeling it.
I wanted to create an episode for you where I could hopefully communicate that feeling to tell you that I’m so grateful to you for listening, for tuning in, and how just the fact that you listen has been powerful in my life because as I’ve been recording this podcast over the last couple of years — which I cannot believe, by the way, that it’s been over two years… Initially, I wanted to give it a year and see how it went, and then I go two years now, and now I’m just thinking this is just what I do. And it feels amazing to be able to do this work.
And people listening from across that world, that has inspired me to keep going. It’s done wonderful things. This episode is for you, by the way. It’s not all about me. But I’ve just got to give you this one little bit of gratitude.
As people send me messages, whether it’s text messages, emails, or messages through the website or on Facebook or Instagram or wherever you find me, LinkedIn, as I get messages, it really does feel that I’m being heard. Isn’t that a beautiful feeling? That’s a nice feeling to have.
But it also keeps me really sticking with the process because anything that we do in our lives… The reason I did this is to begin to shine a light on NLP as a whole. I thought, “How can I share the magic without the ticket price?” In other words, how can I share what I have learned and what I teach in a way that’s conversational and that’s going to be free and that just simply brings awareness? And this is one of the ways that I contribute to the world in my own little way.
In doing so, it’s required of me to be really consistent. And it’s required of me to stick with the thing that I’m doing.
My kids used to call my dynamic. I think they still call me that. One especially, my oldest one. That was his nice way of telling me that I change my mind all the time.
Being here and doing this work and really committing… I just talked to a client today about going all in. When you make that decision, as a person does, then and really does demand this level of focus, and that’s what you have brought into my life, and I thank you for that so very much.
In my place inside, I’m just walking around in gratitude and appreciation, I’m just welling up all day long. I don’t even know if that’s how you say it. I hope that’s how you say it. My eyes are watery, and tears are flowing, and it’s just really joy that I’m feeling as I’m here with you.
I think about those things that really do feel sometimes like it’s just messages that come in.
I have a really open relationship with my unconscious mind. I feel like I get messages from my unconscious mind from everybody. Just as I was about to record this podcast episode, I spoke to Maxine who is one of my clients who is a student. She’s a coach inside our Revolution Program, inside our upcoming NLP Coach School, so she’s frickin’ fabulous. And she’s learning to do some things on her own. She does a lot of things on her own, but she’s learning to do some big things that she’s never done before on her own, and I’m so proud of her and just thrilled and grateful that she’s in my life and all the things that we’re doing together because now she’s officially part of my Soulful NLP umbrella. So it’s really quite rewarding to be here.
Right as I was about to record this episode, I told her I’m going to do it on appreciation and gratitude, and I know it’s a little cliche because it’s Thanksgiving, but I really want to do it.
And then she said, “Oh, that one thing. This one thing.”
And I thought, “Oh, that’s the episode.” Because I have a tendency to give you a lot, and I thought what if we keep it really simple? And isn’t that a learning on its own?
I just worked with a client where we talked about slowing down and how slowing down can create big results in our lives that sometimes in that slowing down, we can really notice the beauty that’s around us, the success that’s already there, all the ways that we have opportunities before us, and all the opportunities that are right there that we can jump on and take and enjoy.
So keeping it simple.
I think about the thing that I do every single day. The first thing I do — and I learned this from my mom, by the way. Hi, mom. I learned this from my mom because this is what my mom does.
Here’s what it is. I’m going to give it to you now, and then we’re going to get into appreciation and gratitude and the things for you to notice.
The thing that my mom does that Maxine reminded me of that is that as soon as you wake up — I’m giving you the tip now — as soon as you wake up, as soon as you open your eyes, as soon as you are aware of consciousness in your body that you immediately begin to say thanks, that you immediately begin to say thank you for this moment.
My mom says, “Thank you for the pillow beneath my head, my blankets, my body, the warmth that I’m feeling. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
If there is someone who is sleeping next to you, that you look over to them. I do this for Ron every day and also for Gunner because he sleeps in our bed. I just say thank you. And the joy that can come over you as you look at the people in your life, and you put away all the things that maybe bug you about them, and you just simply look at them for who they are and their wholeness and their beauty. And you can just simply say thank you.
I invite you to do this. Every day, as soon as you wake up, that in the moment that you open your eyes…
Listen, I am someone who used to wake up, and the moment I opened my eyes, I could feel the stress response flooding my body. I could feel the anxiety coming over me. I know what that’s like, so I’m not telling you something that is going to be really hard for you to do and that I have no idea what I’m talking about.
I know what it’s like to wake up scared. I did it for many years.
I know what it’s like to wake up with anxiety. I did it for many years.
I know what it’s like to just be stressed out, period. I did it for many yes.
But now I’m doing something that is so different.
Here is the paradox. I’ve talked before about how it feels like this practical joke. And I’m like why do we do it this way? In your gratitude and appreciation for whatever you can think about, even if it’s a minute or two, it begins to change the direction of your day. When you do it consistently, the only thing that your mind can do — because this is how it functions — is that your mind is going to show you other things to appreciate. It will present to you other opportunities for appreciation, other opportunities for that gratitude, the more that you do this over and over again.
It really is simple. As they say, that book by Esther and Jerry Hicks, Ask and it is Given, it is really about you putting your focus there and that your brain simply knows to direct energy there. And as you do that, then it only makes sense, it is a very logical journey because the resources are flowing there, and then you get to experience outcomes that align.
I know that I’ve told you before, at least it’s my belief, that you and me and everybody are so much more than our conscious and unconscious minds put together. That is, to me, still the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more to you than that.
Are there other things going on here besides just your brain and your body working together? For me, it feels like there absolutely is. I have no way to prove it, but I can tell you that it feels like that in my experience. And the more that I feel like that in my experience, the more I see the evidence of it.
Is that my brain, or is that just me plugged into this other thing that I think is out there? Who knows? And I really don’t give a crap. I only like the way that it feels. It feels really good to know that I’m a part of something bigger.
It feels really good to know that my focus allows me to create more of what I want, and I am so grateful that that.
It feels really good to know that I can learn to slow down and appreciate the moment and that when I do that, it’s almost like things just kind of flow together. It really is a result of that one simple practice.
There are a lot of things that I’ve learned. There are a lot of things that I ask you to learn here. I ask you to focus on your language. I ask you to focus on your focus, to focus on thinking the things that feel better to you. I ask you to consider what it would be like for you to be in relief and to do the thing that’s going to help you feel a little relief right now.
All of it here is coming together. And I think that what happens over time, as you practice these little practices consistently, that you can find yourself in a place where you’re just simply grateful that you found your way through. That’s what today is all about.
I think you can look at your life right now, and there are going to be so many beautiful things taking place that you can really begin to appreciate what’s there.
We talked about that during our Momentum Maker Workshop this morning in Revolution. First of all, we’ve had massive, awesome happening inside Revolution since we let our new Revolution members come in over the last few weeks. They’ve been in there officially for about three weeks. It’s been really exciting and fulfilling to witness the unfolding of an individual. It’s not that they’re discovering a new them. It’s the them that’s been there the entire time. But here they’re just beginning to tap into it a little bit more. They’re connecting with that power within them, and they’re doing wonderful things with it.
We have had a lot of really big shifts.
Even when new people come in, the big shifts usually happen to the people who have been there for a while, but the new people are seeing it which then allows them to create bigger shifts. And that’s powerful. That is the power of the program that we created.
Our people inside who have been there for a while have had really big things happen, really big successes, really beautiful things going on in their lives.
What we quickly noticed, especially one person, she said something happened at the beginning of the week and I didn’t feel good. But then there was resolution right away. When she started managing her state and how she felt in the moment — state being “How do I feel right now?” — she started changing how self felt, gave herself the beautiful reframe that allowed her to do that, and all of a sudden she got a response that made her feel so good and that really lifted her up.
We started this new thing in Revolution where we now have a Voxxer chat. We have two. We have one for celebration and another one for support. In the celebration chat, she was talking about how this was a big celebration. It was really wonderful.
Then when she came into Momentum Maker this morning, she said, “But I totally forgot to tell you about this one business thing that’s a really big thing in my business which is going to bring revenue into my life, revenue into my business that wasn’t there before this thing happened. But you know what? Whenever things like that happen that are so good, I just tend to overlook them.” We just quickly tend to move on to the next thing.
And we have a really bad habit of doing that where we don’t stop and smell the proverbial roses. We don’t stop to say, “This one good thing happened to me. I’m just going to enjoy it and celebrate it.” And not going to stay just in celebration mode and stay there until I get all wrinkly and shriveled up as if I’d been in a pool for days and days. I’m not going to do that. I’m just going to stay here, dip my toes in it, enjoy it, and then get up and keep going. But I’m really going to celebrate. I’m going to stop and celebrate this moment.
That is really what this is all about. How do you put all that together? How do you then give yourself the room that says, “I’m going wake up. The first thing I’m going to do is to just be grateful for this moment, for my life, for the breath in my body, for the roof over my head, for the people in my life, for the pillow under my head, for the fact that…”
For me, it’s automatic, walking into the kitchen and brewing my coffee, being able to sit on my couch and just be for a few minutes. The ease in our lives as a result of technology now. That ease, what a beautiful thing that is that we can just simply connect with the rest of the world.
I talk to people from all over the place, and I’m just at home. What a nice thing that is.
When you can look at your life and just simply be grateful, then that sets you up for more of the same throughout the day. And it works really quickly as long as you do it consistently.
What I’m going to ask you to do is today, whenever you’re listening to this, that you make a list of the things that you are so very grateful for, the things that you so appreciate in your world, and that you add to that list every single day until the end of the year. That is what I want you to do. This is the process that’s going to bring in big, wonderful things into your life.
Starting from whenever you listen to this… If you listen to this in 2022 or 2023, you have a long way to go. But let’s say you’re listening here when I’m recording this at the end of 2021, make a list of those things that you’re so grateful for and appreciate, and then after that, be sure to add something to it every single day between now and the end of the day. And perhaps you’re going to be inspired to keep it going. I would love to see that.
And then let me know how it goes. This is what I want for you. Appreciate all the things that you’re grateful for. Give them a little love. Celebrate them. And you know what it’s going to do? It’s going to help you to really celebrate those wins in the middle because it’s about time for us to celebrate those wins.
I’m going to give it to you in away-from language. Stop dismissing your goodness. Stop dismissing your achievements. Stop dismissing your growth, your evolution. Embrace it and celebrate it and love it. Just one thing to do.
Because I have a feeling that in your world, there is way more to be grateful for than to not be grateful for, however we would say that.
This is our time. It’s time. We’ve got to do something different. A lot of the old things we do just simply don’t work anymore. It doesn’t work to beat yourself up.
It doesn’t work to talk to yourself in a way that is disempowering. It doesn’t help you. It doesn’t help you achieve the things that you want to achieve when you are looking in the mirror and looking for flaws. It doesn’t help you.
This is about you stepping into your own. It’s about getting rid of the illusion that says that you have to be XYZ in order to be accepted and loved and to belong and to be successful.
It really is about you being able to be authentically who you are. I know authentic is such an overused word. I worry about that. It’s like how many words am I using that everybody is using? Like aligned. But it’s true. This is the work.
This work is for you to be you. And it’s not, by the way, the you that a lot of times we think we are. It’s not the you that you think you are. It’s the you that you really are, which is usually buried underneath the layers of all the things that you think you should be.
I hope you got that. I don’t know that I can repeat it. But it is really the you underneath the layers of all the things that you think you should be. That is who you really are. And it’s about time to let that person come out and play and be and just love him or her.
The way that we do it is by finding those things in the moment-to-moment experience that you can begin to really appreciate and really be grateful for.
I think of this for me and my life, the big one is always my dog. And the kids too. But really the dog because he just loves us. All he wants to can be petted, to be fed, and to sleep in our bed. He really doesn’t want much else. He likes to go in the car for rides, and that’s about it. He’s super simple, and that love is so unconditional.
I think that we all have a part of ourselves that is capable of that type of simplicity, that type of appreciation, that type of fun and love. And it’s just about letting that part of us come out and play consistently. Not all the time. You still have work to do, yes. You have a business to run. You have kids to take care of perhaps. You have things to accomplish. Yes, we know that.
But there is a part of you that wants tenderness and kindness and the loving touches and the gestures and that compassion and understanding. I really do think that the way through that is through your appreciation and your gratitude in that moment-to-moment experience.
In our program, we always say that appreciation is really the gateway to manifestation because it just makes sense. This is how your brain works. Whatever you focus on is going to expand. The energy from your body just goes there. Before you know it, those things become the laser focus of you. If you’re focused on one thing intently, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger.
This is why I tell you all the time to focus on the things that work for you. Focus on the things that feel good because your unconscious mind is paying attention and is bringing into your experience more of that. Not because it thinks that it’s good or bad for you but just because it knows that this is your focus.
Your unconscious mind is very neutral. We’ve got to give it clear direct instruction to function in the way that we want it to function. This is your brain at work.
Are there other things happening? Yes, I have a feeling there are. But you know what? I don’t know. I can’t prove it. But I do know that your brain is doing really good work on your behalf. And the only thing that it needs is going to be instructions. And when you give it the instructions and you say, “Listen, this is what I’m doing. Every single day starting today, I’m going to write a list of all the things that I’m grateful for, all the things and people that I appreciate.” You don’t even have to write way, by the way. I’ve done that exercise with people. Why? Give me a reason. No. We want to just let it free flow, the things that you’re loving in the moment. Things like “This is what I love now,” especially now as I’m creating content for NLP Sales School.
I love sunrises because I create my content really early in the morning. I love being able to open up the window. I keep the curtains completely open, and I see it when the sun rises. It’s right in front of my face. And it’s just beautiful.
And the colors at night for sunsets, oh my gosh. That is the stuff that brings me so much joy.
Whatever it is for you, that’s what I want you to write.
You start writing today. You write every single day. Add to the list. This should be joyous. This should be fun. You should feel good. Every single day until the end of the year.
This is going to be one simple process that you do. It’s going to put you in so much appreciation and gratitude, and you’re going to message me and tell me that amazing things are happening to you because that is exactly how it works.
We proved it to ourselves during the 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough, which we’re going to be doing again. We’re thinking it’s going to be March. But we’re going to be doing it again. And we proved it.
What was the foundation of it? Feel good. That was the foundation. Feel good and notice the good things showing up in your life. They just do.
And it doesn’t mean that you don’t have other things to worry about and that there aren’t challenges, but it certainly means that you have way more power. There is so much power in your emotion. And the intention within you.
When you’re focusing on those things, especially as you’re sitting with people, maybe if you’re catching this before Thanksgiving, at that table that is such a beautiful symbol of family and love and acceptance and where you leave everything outside and it’s just about that moment, that’s the symbol of that Thanksgiving dinner at the table with the whole family. It is a moment of togetherness.
When you are there, maybe you can look at everyone and just simply know all the things in this moment, as you’re looking at them. Not this moment, but that moment when you’re looking at them and saying “This is what I love.”
I promise you that the moment that you sit at the table and you go there, all of the other things that have been getting in the way of you loving these people the way that you know you truly love them will melt away. They will. If you can see them for who they really are, which is completely whole, you’re going to just love them.
And because perception is projection, this allows you to love you more. Remember I told you, when it comes to self-improvement, when it comes to self-love, I am a greedy son of a gun. I want to be in all the love and all the goodness. And I work that your unconscious mind sees everything as a mirror. So when you can allow yourself to go there and see it and be there, oh my gosh, it just comes back to you over and over again.
One of the things that I’m so grateful for this year is that for the first time in a very long time, we’re going to have all of our four children with us for Thanksgiving. I am ecstatic. I cannot tell you. It brings me to tears when I think about it. And now they’re all grown up, so we’re going to be doing grown-up things like we’re going to go throw axes, and we’re going to go have margaritas. And we’re going to do all kinds of other things at home. It’s going to be really fabulous. And I’m just so grateful just for the being together and the fact that we can do that this year.
That’s all that I have for you. I want you to make that list. I’ve already said it five times, maybe six times. I’m going to say it one more time.
Make a list of everything you’re grateful for today and add to this list every single day between now and the end of the year. Let’s make it happen. You’ve got this. You’ve got this.
I am thrilled for you. I want you to message me and tell me how it’s going. I know that good things are going to happen. Listen, we did it in the 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough. You can do it here now.
Thank you so much for being here. I wish you a beautiful Thanksgiving season because remember you’re going to do it until the end of the year. There is so much love in my heart for you. I know maybe you have no idea who I am, or maybe I have no idea who you are, but you know what? I think in spirit, we do. We know each other intimately well. And you’re here. And so I appreciate you and I thank you for being here. And I usually talk a lot of things about business, and I usually talk a lot of things about the mind, but this time I’m talking about just giving thanks because it’s appropriate. Tis the season, so let’s do it.
You know where to find me. Just go to SoulfulNLP.com, or you can go to MindRevolutionPodcast.com. You’re going get all the show notes. We have a bunch of free things in there for you. Join us in our community. Just stay in our world. I love that you’re here. Thank you so much, and I wish you the very best. And it is my wish that you realize all of those hopes, those dreams, those wishes, those desires in your heart so that you can have a life and a business that you absolutely love.
I’ll be sending good vibes your way until the next time we meet.